I became interested in radical feminism and gender critical debates because I was concerned about the wellbeing of girls jumping the gun, injecting puberty blockers, going for surgical transition to get them through difficult teenage years. Having known many local females who tried binding during the 1990s, when we were all teens, all of who detrans once they went to college, I was surprised to see how it's hip nowadays.
I dated a lesbian who bind then and have intimate knowledge of what it's like for her. I was also against anyone spreading violence, like some extremist trans activists were doing. My main gripe was because I was educating the public about abuse on Quora, it was going against my principles and values as a metoo survivor as well.
I know trauma because I have CPSTD since I was 14, I still have it and have to be very careful to not be triggered, end up sliding into clinical depression. So, I pulled back from my initial enthusiasm after about 6 months, had a wait and see attitude about TERFs instead.
I worry about girls identifying with T+ to find a sense of belonging, but end up opening themselves up to victimisation by online male predators who sense how lost they're.
During a time when we're suddenly objectified, old enough to be preyed on without legal recourse for minors, thrown into the lion's den of traditional stereotypes, restrictive gender norms, are policed all the way from our looks to dressing to behaviours and sexual orientations, it's completely understandable to feel lost and try to find yourself.
That's exactly what our teenage years are for, teenage rebellion can help us find our paths to become assured confident adults. It is only teenagers that aren't from supportive families that struggle as adults. I see this often in my work with abused people, they often were abused as kids, then are subconsciously drawn to adult abusers like a moth to a flame, repeating that cycle from relationship to relationship.
Overwhelmed by duties as women without the supporting authority we need to do them well, we have to battle misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, racism and a whole lot of other things in private and in public, while studying, dating, etc.
The truth is millions of girls don't go through that stage well at all, lifelong body image and self esteem issues often are a result of both our societal oppressions and the lack of support within sexist families.
Unlike heterosexual TERFs, my primary concern was the wellbeing of gender non conforming lesbians like myself and my closest friends. After talking to many lifelong lesbian feminists, I found out that being sidelined by heterosexuals within radical feminism is a norm, 1970s Lavender Menace hasn't stopped in 2020, the divide has been a battle to bridge until today.
The rejection of lesbians and women of colour within mainstream feminism is still an issue, even at top US organisations like NOW, AAUW, FMF, have this problem. The situation is dismal, people's dislike of radical feminists have a lot of validity in it, I also dislike them immensely, they often confuse their rigid narrow mindedness for being principled, their privilege for being uncompromising, they're so ignorant, it's Dunning Kruger central.
From the psychology point of view, I see how their behaviours and thought patterns ranges from controlling to abusive.
When I spoke out about Trump's xenophobic propaganda against East Asians, they revealed to me their true colours. Their abilities to deny, deflect, lie and manipulate was made clear to me.
When I spoke out about how white feminism excludes women of colour, they showed me repeatedly how determined they were to deny white privilege, so their cries for men to set down male privilege began to fall on my deaf ears.
It was special treatment they wanted, not gender equality, they wanted WOC to make up for how men have failed them while they request men to set down male privilege at the same time.
I despise hypocrisy, they were playing both sides, not truly allying with either.
Double standards is prevalent amongst abusers, there is no reason to switch out male abuse for female abuse, swop out male control for female control, which was what they wanted.
They don't seem to have a clue what independence means, whether from a psychological or sociology point of view, they're utterly lost and clueless adults who need help themselves.
It's adult blinds trying to lead younger blinds, they just keep churning inside a whirlpool, no one is really helping anyone, it's just a complete waste of time.
I heard about the unknown Canadian Meghan Murphy last year, I was surprised her minute issue of a Twitter ban got so much press coverage, in a world of far more pressing women issues that endanger females daily, this was the epitome of first world problems to me.
When I researched her, she had not much of a resume, a smattering of work here and there, my resume is far better than hers, I was puzzled, got busy and left it as that.
I didn't see her as a skilled writer either, she was more of a reporter, she wasn't churning out anything literary enough to stand out, so in terms of artistic merit, I can't see how she would be popular so quickly.
How is it that I was struggling as a small independent writer like so many writers who toll away for years without mainstream recognition, she broke into mainstream media overnight?
I didn't think much of it until I heard she was suing Twitter. I thought she had balls, I also thought where is the money coming from? She flew to the US and the UK to give talks, get on talk shows, how can she afford it if she was only living off donations to her website?
Then she released her xenophobic bat virus video during the pandemic and refused to take it down, in spite of many requests from WOC, radical feminist WOC and me included.
As a self named radical feminist, she completely let us down.
She didn't care that Asian women were set on fire, thrown acid at, verbally assaulted, domestic violence rates are sky rocketing globally. Asians were punched, stabbed and getting fired from their jobs. She didn't care that there has been a history of coloniser driven war and genocide of Muslim, Chinese and native women. That there have been shootings specifically targetted at Asian women, none of that mattered to her.
Sexist racist Trump, White Supremacy, Bat Virus.
It was clear what her political stance was.
She is being wilfully ignorant with BLM trending, #iamnotavirus gaining ground, Asians and Asian Americans speaking up, statistics that reveal black and latino Americans are dying in higher numbers than white ones, talks of systemic racism were all around us.
Even in my tiny by size yet mighty by economics powerhouse of Singapore, we're talking about metoo and racism like never before, she has remain unmovable.
That is her on the far left, that is Posie Parker on the far right, lesbian feminist Linda Bellos beside Posie.
Just like a typical racist, Posie can't accept muslim women exist, they're so invisible to her, she can only see them in the same category as trans women, they're so erased, she has othered them so much in her psyche, she can only see them as men.
Since she is infamous for saying trans women are men, selling merchandise stamped with "adult human female"unironically, she still sees the definition of woman through a UK coloniser whitewashed lens.
To her and many other white cishet TERFs, woman means white woman, any other female's material reality is suppose to center and revolve around a white woman's experience, they do not hesitate to police WOC or trans women into accepting their perspectives as not just the only ones, but as the right superior ones, the only ones to buy into.
The worst ones are abusive entitled Karens who discriminate on sight, barely have common sense but are self righteous as heck.
White women issues are supposed to be prioritised, are more important and matter more, whether it's sexism against them or other issues, it is always them first and WOC later.
I jest, it is never later, therefore why intersectional feminism is born to right the wrong.
Out lesbian Julia Long, Out lesbian Anne Ruzylo and Bum Boy
The lesson here is if you're a bored housewife with no work experience like Posie Parker, a new feminist without a resume like Meghan Murphy, an ousted politician like Anne Ruzylo then just be racist, call people cunts (not holding my breathe for all the Karen is a slur people to call PP out), they were so offended, they organised to pile on us, post after post.
It is not just get away with it but still be hailed as superhero feminists like Posier Parker & Meghan Murphy, because the bar for white women social acceptability in majority white places are just so low.
Yet they will deny white privilege exist until the cows come home.
This is basically what white feminism is for, to give incompetent white women unearned chances, unfortunately that something is always at the expense of marginalised minority women, be it LBT+ or racial minorities, including hardworking white women who gain skills legitimately.
Marginalised people including poor working class white women they do not include in their rigid social meaning of adult human female even if they claim discrimination against women is real, it is not applied to visibly gender non conforming females like butches, non binary, trans or queer women as well.
Determined to protect whiteness over women rights, children's wellbeing, this was just big pharma/big business power cycling through the hands of different people with different narratives, that's all.
WoLF made a public statement to work together with Family Policy Alliance, a conservative Christian organisation.
I heard rumours through the grapevine about their conservative connection. Religious bigotry is so far away from feminism, I didn't believe them, I also didn't want to believe them.
I witnessed my Christian ex as well as my LGBT friends become suicidal after conversion therapy, I KNOW how life threatening it is, I lived through it with her and many others.
It is no joke to grapple with religion, sexual orientation and being a teenager at the same time.
They also release a "Declaration of no confidence in LGB movement leadership", so I guess they think religious white masters are suppose to evangelise "deviant" LGBT+ suspects back into their flock of "traditional families" and "family values"?
Two terms that will alarm any LGBTQ+ activist.
We know it means heterosexual families with a subservient stepford wife, a white flight suburban dream, including a "not in my own backyard" picket fence and 2.5 kids who conform bible law by bible law to strict gender norms.
An organisation that is anti abortion, anti homosexuals, upholds religious patriarchal ideas of female servitude, is so far away from 2020 feminism, it's mind boggling.
One of the board members is Patrick Caruana, he has been chairman of FPA board of directors since 2013. Prior to that, he was chairman of the Focus on the Family board of directors.
I'm familiar with Focus on the Family, they have a branch in Singapore, they're the reason why marriage equality is still an exhausting distant dream for many LGBT+ locals like me.
I am tired, I feel a little deflated, sometimes I want to stop fighting and give up. It's been a long road that I can't see the end of, too little local activists, too much political apathy, I just want to take a break and rest.
I also found out they have a Canadian branch, that's when all the pieces came together, why MM was propelled to fame so quickly, is frequently invited and promoted by WoLF.
Focus on the Family Singapore is a Christian socially conservative, anti-abortion organisation based in Singapore. According to its website, FOTF seeks to strengthen the role of male and female in a marriage and traditional family unit.The organisation has conducted talks, workshops, nationwide events and counselled parents and couples, with the aim of advocating traditional family units.
FOTF Singapore is an affiliate of the American Christian conservative organisation, Focus on the Family, founded in 1977 by James Dobson.
She was on many conservative news outlets, on Fox News with Tucker Carlson, written up on ex Trump adviser Steve Bannon's Breitbart and Christian Post. Posie Parker was also written up by Christian Post as well.
She was interviewed by spiked editor Brendan O’Neill, she had an extraordinary amount of press coverage from Australia to UK to Canada to the US.
Notice how all of these places have majority white people in it.
You know what's the most interesting thing about all of this?
There were many out lesbians who were platformed by WoLF, associates with MM and PP. Julia Long in the black hoody above, Julie Bindel below (2nd from left), Linda Bellos carrying the "if gender......"sign in the next photo. America's Julia Beck was also platformed by the Heritage Foundation, which also has conservative backing.
It seems that all the popular lesbians in this debate also can't care less about lesbians, we're acceptable collateral damage, a familiar theme within radical feminism. They make it known that sexism matters most, other intersections are inferior, less important, they sure ain't being quiet about that either.
I saw some white lesbians interested in this debate on Twitter, they also have disturbing encounters with them and ended up with the same conclusion.
This is something TERFs proudly promote.
In our faces.
Even if they didn't promote it, it's clear from their activism, how marginalised people are still excluded, Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist is actually much worse, it is cishet white first world, which excludes billions of women.
Maybe that's what they mean by free speech, make some noise or use your voice, it translates to exploit labour, we make noise to prop them up and use our voices as a one way street to add to their already privileged middle class/upper class first world hetness.
They tokenise a few white lesbians here and there, add in another tokenised black lesbian with way more experience than all of them combined, WALA, feminism.
A housewife with no history of social justice contributions, no work experience and nothing legitimate to bring to the table, used public donations to print merchandise and gain a profit from them, is now seated beside a well-known black lawyer and lifelong activist.
But race privilege doesn't exist.
According to them.
The problem is I tried it, I operated in good faith, threw my full support behind the issues I cared about, tried amplifying about 50 in total.
I just feel like a disillusioned fool now.
Not just didn't I get support in return, I have to mentally backpedal real hard to find the 1960 place I really am in their heads, even investigating why they think that way is exhausting. It's so far away from the 2020 me, even as a stereotypical teenager I was ahead of them in my thinking in 1994.
I feel paralysed sometimes, how to even talk to them.
Below is from my June 19 2020 Instagram post
"OK so I amplified Miriam here and on many other platforms. I even told her directly once on FB with the links, when she attacked me with another white woman. Ironic enough, I was warning lesbians about religious lesphobes in the sex versus gender ID debate, I didn’t name anyone. Her friend thought I was talking about her (paranoid) and confronted me. She jumped in and told me I have no idea what her friend sacrificed. Threatened to FB block me for my “nonsense”. She didn’t let me reply to her friend first. I asked her how does she know how much I sacrificed? I paid attention to both their activism but they had no clue about mine at all, she never ever commented, EVER. I posted the links of me amplifying her. So she KNOWS I supported her. I have also spoken about lesbian erasure, issues, trans activist violence, etc. As you can see below. But lesbian Miriam has decided I’m a TRA recently. Did that bitch even bother to check out my activism for herself? I doubt it. I get so much of this, white women latch onto one post and make conclusions. See date stamp. You can scroll down below too. Now she’s spreading lies about me. The irony is she’s a Jewish lesbian and racists typically hate Jews as well. The other day, in the other rad fem group where I was called a lady boy or trans man, another self proclaimed radical feminist said she was white and Jewish, so should she feel ashamed now? I told her I talk about anti Semitism too. She went on to continue attacking me. They’re just abusers, they just want to take out their frustrations on someone, nothing to do with logic at all. But lie about me, WOW that’s a new low. I’m not used to all this drama and crazy making. It’s so childish, my teen self don’t behave like that already. White supremacy is above being lesbian, being a woman, being a feminist, they don’t care, I educate women about abuse, they don’t care I write about sexual assault, me too, beauty standards, domestic violence, etc. Whiteness erase everything. And since when the fuck did Miriam amplify me? When? So she fail me in so many ways and I’m the problem? White feminism is toxic."
Hands Across The Aisle Coalition is associated with WoLF as you can see.
I listened to TERFs, radical feminists, gender critical people of both sexes as well as trans women and trans men for about a year, my conclusion is that TERFs are conservatives or narrow minded self named progressives who only call themselves leftists or liberals because they're comparing to gun carrying, Nazi patch wearing, confederate flag flying white supremacists.
Of course they're liberals in that sense, they're the polite racists not the impolite ones.
There is so much homophobia, transphobia, religious driven ideas of male and female, it's not even funny.
Along with touting sex based oppression were their ideas of biological determinism, modesty patrolling, holier than thou narcissism and rigid expectations of how women should look, behave and think.
It's so bad, even white cis butches from the UK were thrown under the bus, what are the chances that me being a cis Chinese femme from the sunny island of safety first Singapore is of any use to them?
I saw the popular ones in the movement, all white women, throw fits at people disagreeing, go on egotistical power trips that lasted months, where they vilified woman after woman based on subjective feelings.
These women were all cis and white.
There was a lot of chaos, accusations and tantrums. Especially large were purity politics, which all made sense to me after I understood the conservative stance most of them have. All mind numbingly dull black and white this is wrong and this is right arguments, interspersed with white fragility, hyper sensitivity, just falling apart everywhere.
Most of all, there were a lot of controlling behaviours, they matched up to the worst men I ever met in still extremely sexist Singapore, that's saying a lot for me.
And they want to recruit and mobilise women? Base on what exactly?
As a Christian for the last 26 years, I know religious bigots like the back of my hand, the way they frame conversations, the words they use to spread their propaganda, the way they think and speak.
This experience is a throwback to my hellish days when I first stepped into Christianity, wanting so desperately to know God while being closeted, living in fear I would be rejected from churches if they knew.
Miriam was so vindictive because I pointed out on FB that there indeed were some religious bigots who're talking about sex versus gender identity. She thought I meant her friend but I didn't, her friend assumed it was her as well, later I realised who that friend was, she was part of the leadership at WoLF.
It was no coincidence that they both jumped on the thread, they ignored me otherwise. I don't know either of them personally, none of them are people I wanted inside my inner circle, engaging online was stressful enough. In hindsight, I think it was probably a guilty conscience that drove that reaction.
I didn't name anyone then, I meant Caroline Farrow, who said on Twitter that a healthcare worker wearing a rainbow lanyard traumatised her. She also proclaimed she was a devout Catholic on her Twitter profile.
I was sure she was playing the victim, manipulating the situation to paint her as a helpless damsel cum heroic white saviour. I called out her bullshit then, using my old permanently banned Twitter account, all the TERFs sided with her.
What I noticed about them is they were always playing the victim, victim mentality is a default for them. It initially made me lose respect for them, I don't surround myself with moaners, only doers, I find them too selfish, their awareness too low, for my liking.
It was later that I realised it was a calculated organised political move, because how else can they justify being an oppressed class when they're first world, have universal healthcare, is the majority race, have high press freedom index, is living inside a robust activism climate AND still get their rights pushed back?
How can they justify the failure of the white feminism they're trying to sell if they cannot blame all their own flaws on men or minorities?
They needed a scapegoat, an enemy that wasn't really a threat. One that in real life was far more powerless than them, had juicy extremists to spilt hairs about, one they can fit into their supremacist overlord's agenda.
A group with low representation that they can easily inflate online, feeding the trope of moral deficiency that comes with all kinds of discrimination. Rob all the power to keep within the old girls club but still be palatable enough to recruit women with aspirations, while actively gatekeeping the poor out at the same time.
They chose T+ because they're seen as the epitome of LGBT+ abomination to them, in their eyes, they were not men not women and they needed to desperately be able to tell on sight, so they can gender profile like they racial profile.
They needed people to fit into the neat gender boxes they check off so they feel secure about themselves, like as if people walk around with xx or adult human female tattooed to their foreheads like walking Twitter profiles.
Like as if people should walk around checking under people's outfits (it's call sexual assault), it's socially acceptable to play guess the genitalia with strangers, it's not at all disrespectful to speculate in groups that masculine looking women are actually men instead of #believewomen.
They reduce people to gametes and chromosomes in petri dishes in the name of science like as if some people are destined guinea pigs to be experimented on, while complaining how big pharma is experimenting on kids and no one cares.
They behave like it's even remotely feasible to subject people to testing before we use public facilities, they want high school trans athletes to go through extensive testing before they're allowed to compete.
They have completely lost their humanity themselves, just cold hard "facts" that lack due diligence and are just uninformed personal opinions so basic bitch, it's somewhat morbidly fascinating, they're trapped in a 1900s time bubble as the world has moved forward.
When it is exactly this kind of cold detached inhumane attitudes towards kids that make them vulnerable to predators, when they're treated as sub human, they learn they're unworthy, that kind of behaviour is normalised to them, they will even reject people with higher standards who treat them well.
It's a hot mix of white feminism capitalistic profiteers, cishets trying to colonise the debate, religious funding to sow discord within LGBT+. Forming an LBG Alliance to cannibalise itself, while the real people behind it all are keeping their grimy hands clean, watching the debacle with popcorn, celebrating the demise of LGBT+ solidarity.
Stories of detransitioners are used to shift blame onto LGBT+ organisations, God forbid that their parents are complicit and take some responsibility. The horrors of transition surgery and puberty blockers are used to demonise the entire rainbow, so they can re-introduce conversion therapy, promote anti abortion and domesticate women back to men as "head of the family". She is his rib, she is meant to be treated as the behind the scenes sidekick, so Adam and Steve will become Adam and Eve like how they think God designed it.
A Trojan horse.
I find radical feminism is about intellectualising, theorising and philosophising, the so called critic of gender is through a 1960's lens, it's so backwards it's just shocking to me.
Some are well read, it's hard to find many who worked full time in social justice on top of textbook knowledge, much of it isn't grounded in reality, I struggle to even find people I can talk to inside it. I was just bored out of my mind as a lateral thinker, they were one dimensional, closed minded and couldn't teach me anything.
If this is feminism, it is more of a burden than it is a liberation. I fail to see how they're capable of liberating women, they do not have the required experience, mindset or knowledge for it.
Let's just say I have decided no expectations is best at all times.
The obsession with genitalia, porn and sex work is a white supremacist obsession with purity politics, upholding the idea of perfect white innocence, therefore the motivation to gatekeep, thought police and eradicate anyone who doesn't fit into their narrow ideas of virtuous.
This idea of virtuous is extreme, they demonise hyper sexualisation but promote desexualisation, without realising how both are just different versions of patriarchal thinking, harmful in their own ways. Modesty policing and slut shaming come from the same roots, not everyone who dresses provocatively hate themselves, not everyone who is a modest dresser has conservative ideas either.
Tearing women away from our sexuality fosters shame, pushes girls to diet culture, encourages eating disorders, becomes poor body image including gender dysphoria instead.
I can tell as someone who have worked with the homeless, abandoned children, suicidal LGBTs, the mentally ill in general, they're sitting on their high horses, critiquing from their ivory towers, without having to suffer any consequences of what they put out.
They're insulated by religious fundamentalistic funds, race privilege and their first world environments. Now, that JK Rowling is promoting it, even though she was slammed by religious fundamentals for being a witch, promoting witchcraft, she seems oblivious about the deeper underpinnings of this debate.
Those in the UK don't have to worry as much during the pandemic, they have universal healthcare, they're using the pandemic to push themselves to the top of this debate instead. By oppressing even white UK women who're involved in anti racism work.
Yet they still never fail to depict themselves as victims, their activism is ranting, gossiping and ganging up like high school mean girls in packs to ostracise those who disagree.
It includes challenging those with actual credentials, have done far more work than them, enacting a Mumsnet version of Big Pharma exploitation, appealing to insecure overly confident women who're far from being radicalised but not understanding they themselves lack the experience to guide them through.
The pointlessness of it all.
Basically they're the female versions of sexist males, they want to approve of others, keep power to themselves, control the narrative, dominate the conversation, they simply want a change of power from males of all races to white females.
Whenever I speak to people without a resume, they tend to speculate or idealise, miss the mark completely, I can tell that many of them are newly minted detransitioners or new to feminism/activism, some are older more experienced activists who have outmoded ideas that didn't grow with time.
There is no true leadership whatsoever.
I worry that lesbians just crawl up from the identity politics pit to fall into the purity politics hole, they both are spearheaded by the same people with the same lived experiences. They just have different political stances, it's both largely driven by capitalism over social justice, drinking one brand of Kool Aid or the other is still Kool Aid.
I was hungry for people who believed in social justice over capitalism, something I believed in my entire life. They didn't resonate with me that's for sure, what I didn't expect is how they went out of their way to be racist during a PANDEMIC, that part stunned me. They could stoop so low while virtue signalling so shamelessly at the same time.
I am still reeling from the betrayal, it made me doubt feminism, I am still trying to regain my faith in humanity.
Laura McNally who is featured on MM's racist videos, wrote a book with her and Julia Long.
She is also the first psychologist I ever met who thinks people don't have to heal trauma.
There is so much exploitation, psychologically unsound ideas as well as lack of understanding of LGBTQ issues, the UK is far behind the US when it comes to embracing diversity.
Since the largest amount of TERFs are from the UK, I knew I was never going to fit in with them, they distressed me more than comforted me, talking to them was the same as doing labour for the most sexist broken men.
Staying away from them brought me much needed peace during a pandemic.
I was already educating the public about domestic violence against women, helping women recover from trauma for free, I was already exhausted, this was everything I didn't need.
They weren't supportive of that either, an issue that affects 1 in 3 women globaly wasn't enough for them to at the very least not sabotage me, so what solidarity are we talking about?
I decolonised all my social media accounts recently, blocked all the previous people I was listening to, actively diversified my media intake.
I am better for it.
Eshet chayil, God is a She.
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