Domineering people need to assert authority over others at all times, failing to do so mean they think less of themselves. Dominance is different from assertion, assertive people get themselves heard without making others feel small, they don't take up all the space in the room, vacuum all the air out of the room and shove people to the side so they can snatch the spotlight for themselves and themselves only. Assertive confident people can share the spotlight with others without feeling intimidated.
When a person with high empathy is a good communicator as well as assertive at the same time, they're persuasive without incurring as much backlash from others. This can lead to misunderstandings by domineering people who assume they have better conditions or encounter preferential treatment when it's their overpowering behaviours that aggravates others.
1. They must get the last word in, even if it means parroting back what you said or repeating what you already agreed with. They must close that loop in their heads, any uncertainty affects their shaky self esteem. They can also find ways to harass you when you ignore them, they want attention and they want it NOW!
2. They nag, A L.O.T. They hound you into submission, sometimes by the sheer volume of their criticism, sometimes by the harshness of it, trying different methods to get you to comply to their entitled behaviours. When you give in to keep the peace, usually out of exasperation, not because you really want to, you will find them thinking they have "won" and doubling down on whatever method they think worked.
In the long run, this causes resentment and you will emotionally distance from them. They have no idea you're being the bigger person or practicing kindness, they're too self absorbed to even consider you.
4. They chastise adults like children, because they have undeveloped emotional and psychological ages as compared to their physical age. So they come across as interograting instead of conversing. They will use their age to justify how you should listen to them, when they're just infantilised adults who throw tantrums, unsuitable for parenting.
5. They're determined to be on the winning team, even if that inclusion is imaginary (due to low emotional and psychological age, they don't have good judgment) and would stand by the side of abusers, mindlessly defend narcissists with true authority like Trump. They're deluded that they would ever be in his position, they barely have common sense most of the time. It is not out of empathy although in their heads it is so, but out of aspirational wishful thinking, to avoid facing how they have a string of failures trailing behind them.
6. They power trip on very little, some online followers would embolden them to become domineering. When you agree with them, they see an inch and take a mile, they get inflated easily, you find the need to put them back in their place.
Since the likelihood is they haven't been in any positions of authority in real life, whether it comes to career, at home or in society, they didn't learn how to manage their egos, are unsuitable for leadership positions. Now they can hide behind anonymous profiles and bear no real consequences for cyber abuse, normalising their behaviours.
7. They're terrible with power dynamics, they can't read the room well, they find nothing wrong with 20 people against 1, they're clueless how it can be intimidating. Since they latch onto the dominant narrative for personal feel good vibes, follow without a mind of their own, not empathetic reasons, they feed a broken system and uphold it, while buying into a rigid rule book for life.
Since a lot of our commitments don't result in good vibes, they're also volatile. When it's things we all have to do to manage our lives, they feel the world owes them instead and they're singled out for extra lousy treatment, when it's they want special treatment no one else gets.
8. They must win at all cost, being kind is considered frivolous, even weak. They will take the faster more damaging route of overpowering insecure people, they're happy to cut you down and see you drown, then turn it around to scapegoat you.
9. They have low EQ, they don't know when to say what, they're insensitive due to chronic low awareness. They can discuss how to attack someone as a group in front of their faces and see nothing wrong with it. Anything to win is their mantra, the collateral damage isn't considered, they just bull dose their way through.
10. They barge ahead like bulls, they speak without finesse, can't capture nuances such as hidden meaning or implicit biases, have difficulty reading between the lines and see emotions as time wasters. Emotionally disconnected from themselves, they can't name their emotions and derive insights from them. Finding it tough, they give up instead, spin it into something altruistic for feel good vibes again. They see stoicism as a sign of strength, can come across lifeless and empty inside.
Dominance comes from deep learned helplessness, cultivated during childhood or during an adult life crisis that they didn't recover from.
It is actually an over compensation, a psychological need to shield themselves through hostility, assumptions and jumping to conclusions. They genuinely are weak minded and dysfunctional individuals.
The best way is to not engage at all, they're usually argumentative and want to belittle you to feel good about themselves. Not everyone deserve a response, it's OK to ignore and let them be.
They need to cool down anyway.
Sometimes they can get involved in activism using anonymous online profiles to use others to vent their frustrations, they're motivated by hatred and it will eat them up by themselves soon enough.
You take care of you, they sure aren't doing so.
Eshet chayil, God is a She.
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